F-machine Pro – Review
Disclosure: I received the F-machine Pro as a rental at a discounted price as part of fmachinefun’s reviewer program. While I did pay the delivery cost and for the dildo attachment I did not pay for the rental period.
I have loved the idea of fucking machines ever since I first saw a sybian in action during my teens in a porn clip. While most porn clips I have watched don’t really stand out for me I remember this one vividly. It was a slim woman, with long blonde hair – probably in her early 20’s. She was sat astride a sybian that was being controlled off camera and there was just something about watching this woman’s orgasm build slowly over time, seeing her eyes roll back in her head and her breathing change that was very erotic.
I’ve always enjoyed watching women get off whether with them in control of the stimulation or otherwise and since that video I have been fascinated with sex machines and desperately wanted to get my hands on one. Thanks to Ian at www.fmachinefun.co.uk I finally got my chance. They can be expensive pieces of kit but Ian has a rental service where you can hire one of their machines from for 3, 7 or 10 days. They will deliver via courier and also arrange the pickup.
I know what you are thinking – “who would want to hire a sex machine that someone else has used? That’s dangerously unhygienic and just ick”. Fear not, the attachment that comes with the machine is brand new, boxed and you get to keep it as a memento of the time you had. The machine itself is fully cleaned upon return and before being hired out again.
Packing & Delivery:
The F-machine Pro arrived on the friday as stated and I also got a text message early in the morning to give me an hour timeslot for when it would be delivered which is awesome – I hate having to wait all day not knowing when something will arrive.
It arrived in a very sturdy metal box that I’m sure would make any courier nervous looking at because it is somewhat ominous. It had two heavy duty combination locks attached to make sure it was safe and secure. One thing of note here is that the copy of the invoice contained within the box actually had the wrong combination for one of the locks but the email confirmation I had received before delivery did contain the correct combinations. Nothing major but it needs mentioning.
The F-Machine Pro:
The F-machine Pro was neatly packed into the box and it comes in 6 pieces that you have to assemble yourself and then connect the power unit. That all may sound like a lot to do but in reality it took 5 minutes to put together and have it working. Even without the instructions it is very obvious where everything goes and it’s all attached via hand tightening screws/locks – so no need to go digging in a tool box.
The attachment that I selected to come with the F-machine Pro was a classic Doc Johnson 8” Vac U lock dildo and as I said, this was brand new and in it’s box. Unfortunately taking it out of the box you are immediately hit by a very plasticy smell which after several washes just wouldn’t disappear, though it did dissipate slightly. That may not bug you but it is something that I dislike and normally does not speak well the quality of the material used so for me this was a “with condoms” toy only.
Once it’s all put together it’s an impressive sight to see and actually a lot smaller than I was expecting it to be which makes it both easy to position and maneuver as well as not being all that intimidating.
When everything was set up I found that using the F-machine Pro was incredibly easy to use. Once plugged in and switched on you have a dial to turn that increases/decreases the speed – that’s it. Testing without anyone on the receiving end I found the dial to be very responsive and increased the speed until reaching max at 240 RPM. This was where I began to get a little concerned as the machine started to bounce around and move which can be seen in this video I made for my own amusement.
Fortunately with a few adjustments to the angle of the machine and reducing how far the rod travels made it completely stable without fear of it going rogue and trying to pound everything in the room!
As I said before, it’s not as big as I thought it was which is great for not being intimidating for first time users but at the same time found that if you want to use this while on the bed then you will need something to stand it on as the legs are not very tall. This is where the case that it arrives in becomes extra handy because it is the right size for this and also being made of metal the rubber feet stick very well to it – making it even more stable.
As always I will try anything on myself (where I can) before using it on anyone else and I’ll be honest here, I enjoy my anal play but have never been a fan of thrusting, preferring to either just have something there such as a plug or a prostate stimulator.
Getting the machine into the right position and the right angle for me was easy and with the dildo inside I slowly started to increase the speed and found that lots of lube is needed…and I mean lots! I had to replenish several times in use as it just burns through the hybrid I was using! I didn’t manage the full 240 RPM but I was quite happy at being pounded consistently and without remorse at 180. If you are a pegging fan or like more movement with your anal play then the F-machine Pro has got you covered believe me.
My play partner couldn’t wait to take a ride! Getting her lubed up and in doggy on the bed I took control of the speed and started off slow and teasing with it which she enjoyed but not half as much as it started to get faster. I’ve heard a fair amount of expletives come from her mouth but nothing like this and all she wanted was for it to go faster. We got it up to full speed after applying some more lube and and she gripped the bedsheets as it relentlessly drove home – it was quite possibly the hottest thing I have ever seen. So much so that I was hard as nails and promptly placed my dick in her mouth so she could enjoy it. Looking up at me while sucking, at the same time being fucked at 240RPM…it was just….ummmph!. She came so hard she practically jumped off the bed from over stimulation.
We played with it again in similar fashion though trying double penetration but the dildo was a little too large for her to allow both me and it at the same time which is a shame though a smaller butt plug sufficed. With me in her mouth again, so all holes filled. It fucked her good, followed by me fucking her good and everything was good in the world!
The first thing I will say is that if you have never tried a fucking machine and you are even the slightest bit curious then you certainly should. The F-machine Pro retails at £550 which is a whole lot to dole out at once but that is where the www.fmachinefun.co.uk rental service makes trying these a whole lot more affordable. To rent for the same period we did (fri-mon) will cost you £100 which to be fair is a really good asking price for what you are getting.
The one thing I will say is that you should take it for longer for two reasons. First is that life is a cruel joke at times and it likes to get in the way of things and thus I really didn’t get the time over that weekend to do everything that I wanted to with it. “All good plans…” and all that. The second reason you should take it longer is because the cost of daily hire becomes cheaper so for example taking it for 7 days will cost you £160, 10 days will set you back £180 which again are very fair.
The ease of ordering, delivery/return, set-up and use make is all so simple to do that even someone who doesn’t read instructions (me) can use it straight away without problems and once you have tried it you won’t be able to imagine how you ever went without it. If I could sum up my feelings about the F-machine Pro it would be this – I was so happy when it arrived and gutted when the courier came to pick it up!
Perhaps the F-Machine Pro is not your cup of tea and you have always wanted to try a Sybian? Or maybe you want to try a masturbator instead of being penetrated? www.fmachinefun.co.uk has you covered and after my experience I will certainly be trying out some of their other machines, without a doubt!
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