And So It Begins…

I’ve never had a problem talking about sex, ever. The biggest problem for a lot of people that I’ve known is that I never shut the fuck up about it. With the exception of music there has been no other subject that has consistently maintained my fascination, adulation and plenty of other words ending in “ation”. If I were to say I was in love with sex it would sound weird  but would be entirely accurate…so I guess I’m just weird as fuck.

So where did this love affair begin? Probably about the age of 10 when I started puberty and I know I was 10 as I was still going to my grandmothers on a friday after school and clearly remember coming out of the bathroom and openly telling her for some reason that “I had hairs down there!?”.

I knew my dick got hard when I saw the page 3 models in The Sun, during the weird need to repeatedly look at the first 50 pages of a Kays catalogue which was always womens underwear or every time on a saturday evening Jet was on screen during “The Gladiators”. Didn’t know why it was happening or what it was called but I do remembering asking a neighbouring lad who was a little older who said it was a “stiffy”.

I knew where babies came from and I knew they got there because of sex but as for what sex was? no one ever fucking told me. With hormones raging and my body changing curiosity had taken over by the time I was 11. I found a book that most likely belonged to my father called “Bare Nell”. I was already a keen reader and this book had a cartoony cover on it that just screamed “READ ME SEYMOUR, REEEEAD ME!!”.

Within the first couple of chapters the main character who was about 16 in the story had given a hand-job to a soldier not really knowing what it was she was doing and had sex with a young lad in a field. I can’t say that I have read anything else by the author but I can say that the book was descriptive enough that an 11 year old managed to grasp a lot of the basic ideas of sexual acts from it.

I was fortunate enough  to grow up near one of the largest second hand book stores in the UK. If I wasn’t at school or at the video-game store that’s where I was. I would go every weekend to trade in books or other media get something new to read, watch or listen to. With my appetite for the world of sex already wet I wanted to know more. Actually…I wanted to know EVERYTHING!

The lifestyle and relationships section wasn’t very big, no more than a couple of shelves but for me I had just uncovered a goldmine of information. I would skim through what I could while I was there but couldn’t bring myself to actually buy a book. At the time I didn’t think they would let me considering I was only 12 by then. What I would do is purchase something from the store as I normally did and would “borrow” one of these books. After I had read it which never took long I would return the book and get a new one. What can I say? I loved that place and stealing from it would have been wrong…I borrowed.

Source: Pixabay - Nemo

I wish I could remember all of the books that I read over the next few years but the ones that stand out in my memory were:

“The Good Sex Guide/Abroad”

“The Ultimate Sex Guide/Book”

“The Karma Sutra”

“My Secret Garden”

“Women On Top”

Along with these were any erotica I could get my hands on. Two of which I can’t remember the name of but I remember the stories and some of the scenes depicted within them vividly which was one of my first tastes of BDSM but that’s a blog for another day!

The more I read the more I wanted to know, my passion and love for the subject just evolved perhaps to the point certain people would say I was fucking obsessed. I remember thinking to myself that If I was going to be having sex in my life then I was going to be fucking good at it. I knew what things were called, I knew how they worked, I knew a plethora of ways to do a plethora of different things and I loved having all that knowledge.

I loved finding out how others thought about sex, how they saw it, what taboos there were, why they were considered taboo. If it was in any way related to the subject I just NEEDED TO KNOW.

Knowledge however isn’t enough. You can go to school or university and study to your hearts content about any subject and it will teach you everything in theory. Applying it in the real world is an entirely different beast.

A book never told me or explained to me how I would feel the first time I gave a girl an orgasm. How could it? But my first full on sexual experience (that wasn’t solo) was to play with a girls pussy and have her cum with just my fingers. Her pants never came off, I didn’t see anything other than her face.

I had the knowledge of where to go and applied what I had learnt but nothing could have prepared me for how intoxicating the smell was or how starry her eyes looked the closer she got to cumming. The feel, the warmth, the texture…all of this wasn’t in any book. I wasn’t prepared for the arm that wrapped around my neck and pulled me crushingly against her tits as she was gasping for air while her body contorted when she came. I wasn’t prepared for the feeling I got from the experience at all.

She lay there as the after effects rolled over her biting her bottom lip with her eyes half shut, it was a beautiful sight and I just lay next to her feeling the most satisfied and powerful I ever had up to that part of my life. I had just caused that to happen, I had just given that  person that amazing feeling, I had caused them to react that way and they loved every second of it. I felt whole in a strange way, as though some part of me had been missing and I had now found it.

Maybe I’m just not good enough with words but I feel as though I will never be able to do it justice in an attempt to explain it. Perhaps that has gone a little way to doing so.

Anyway, I’ve prattled on long enough. Every story has a beginning and that was mine!

Source: Pixabay - Nemo


Image Source: We found our tree roots at Pixabay


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One thought on “And So It Begins…”

  1. delilahxx says:

    Really great post. You started a little bit later than me lol

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